My Mask

    Over the summer, I went on a missions trip to Philadelphia that changed me...for a little while, at least. You see, before the trip, I used to wear so much makeup that sometimes I didn't even recognize myself. It wasn't eye makeup, so it wasn't too horribly noticable, just foundation. I hated my skin, I hated my face in general, So I would splatter just about every foundation and concealer I had just to cover up...myself.
    When we got to philly, I still did that for the first 3 days while we were in training. But once we actually had to go out onto the mission field, the humidity was so bad that if I wore any makeup at all it would just slide right off of my face. I didn't really have a choice, I had to look that way, or have mascara smeared down my cheeks.
    By the end of the trip, I was so used to seeing my face that way that I didn't feel the need to wear it anymore. It went on like that until the first day of my freshman year. I got up in the morning, got all ready, no makeup whatsoever. But then I started thinking, these aren't people from my youth group who don't care, these are people from school, who do. So I splattered on the makeup, like I always used to, and it's been that way ever since.
    When there's no school, like now on Christmas break, I don't feel the need to "Paint my face" as my Dad calls it, And I started thinking..why should I have to when schools in? I mean, no matter how much makeup I put on my face, I can't escape the reality of who I really am. I am frizzy, curly haired Lorynne. I am the one with the past acne scars on my cheeks. I am the one with all the freckles scattered across my nose.
    I don't think even writing this is going to teach me my lesson. But I can still look back on it, and remember that I don't need to mask myself with makeup. But on my first day of my new high school, I'll probably do it again. And maybe a week, maybe a month, who knows how long! I'll look back on this and learn it all again. I don't know how long it's going to take before I can feel beautiful without it, but this sure is a start.

So here I am. To be honest, this isnt even that good of a picture. One of my cheeks is red like my hair from scars, but the webcam I have made it turn out like this. But here I am, makeupless, hair natural...It's me. And no matter how hard I try, I can't change that.
Thanks for reading.