Over the summer, I went on a missions trip to Philadelphia that changed me...for a little while, at least. You see, before the trip, I used to wear so much makeup that sometimes I didn't even recognize myself. It wasn't eye makeup, so it wasn't too horribly noticable, just foundation. I hated my skin, I hated my face in general, So I would splatter just about every foundation and concealer I had just to cover up...myself.
When we got to philly, I still did that for the first 3 days while we were in training. But once we actually had to go out onto the mission field, the humidity was so bad that if I wore any makeup at all it would just slide right off of my face. I didn't really have a choice, I had to look that way, or have mascara smeared down my cheeks.
By the end of the trip, I was so used to seeing my face that way that I didn't feel the need to wear it anymore. It went on like that until the first day of my freshman year. I got up in the morning, got all ready, no makeup whatsoever. But then I started thinking, these aren't people from my youth group who don't care, these are people from school, who do. So I splattered on the makeup, like I always used to, and it's been that way ever since.
When there's no school, like now on Christmas break, I don't feel the need to "Paint my face" as my Dad calls it, And I started thinking..why should I have to when schools in? I mean, no matter how much makeup I put on my face, I can't escape the reality of who I really am. I am frizzy, curly haired Lorynne. I am the one with the past acne scars on my cheeks. I am the one with all the freckles scattered across my nose.
I don't think even writing this is going to teach me my lesson. But I can still look back on it, and remember that I don't need to mask myself with makeup. But on my first day of my new high school, I'll probably do it again. And maybe a week, maybe a month, who knows how long! I'll look back on this and learn it all again. I don't know how long it's going to take before I can feel beautiful without it, but this sure is a start.
So here I am. To be honest, this isnt even that good of a picture. One of my cheeks is red like my hair from scars, but the webcam I have made it turn out like this. But here I am, makeupless, hair natural...It's me. And no matter how hard I try, I can't change that.
Thanks for reading.
Recently, I lost 2 of my very best friends. I'm sure we all know what's that's like. You wonder: "What did I do wrong?" I've been repeating that over and over in my head for about a week now. I guess the whole point of this post is that I've come to realize that not everyone is going to like you, not everyone is going to stay by your side.
You have to find the ones who will. One of the people I've lost I've been best friends with for about 9 months. At the time we met, I was praying and praying, "Please, God! I need a real friend. Please, bring someone into my life." and then I met her. And we had an awesome friendship, but, everything happens for a reason. I don't understand now, but I know good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
I bet a lot of you are thinking, "Wow, you're taking this awfully well for this happening just a week ago!" Truth? I'm not. Truth? Last night, when both of my parents weren't home, I was in my room crying my eyes out, angry, upset, I was wondering "Why, God!? Why would you bring her into my life just to take her out! Why!" But you know, God never gives us anything that we can't handle.
Want to know another truth? Okay, here it is: I. Am. Not. Perfect. I have flaws. I say and do stupid things. I regret it later. And wanna know what else? Sometimes, when I'm angry or upset, or when I don't even realize I'm doing it, a bad word will slip out of my mouth. Hold the gasps! I know, right? A Christian doesn't do those things!
Wrong. Now, you can't read what I just admitted and now realize you do the exact same things. No matter how hard we try, We. Mess. Up. It's human. We're all going to make mistakes, We're all going to fail trying not to sometimes. That doesn't mean we're bad people, it just makes us what we are. Human.
I'm posting this because if you've lost a friend, or in my case, 2 very special friends, It. Is. Not. Your. Fault. You're going to get angry, you're going to get upset, just like I did! But you didn't do anything wrong. God took them out of your life for a reason. Now, don't get me wrong, I still love those 2 special girls with all that I've got, and I only wish the best for them, But I am upset with them. Wanna know why? You guessed it! I. Am. Human!
So there you have it. The truth. People change, people leave. But that doesn't mean you should mope around and get upset like I did, it just means you need to try your best to keep your head high, and move on with your life. Wanna know one last truth? Here it is. : Life is too short to mope around because of your future. You can't change your past, but you can make your future whatever you want it to be.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on." -Robert Frost.
Now, go out there and live life to the fullest, and remember no matter who you are, I'm here for you. No matter what.
